How much dowry or financial support did your family give or receive for your wedding?

How much dowry or financial support did your family give or receive for your wedding?

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Sept 4

Female - age 34

Sept 4

Female - age 34

Share

The Garden of Eden with the Fall of Man (1615) by Peter Paul Rubens and Jan Brueghel the Elder

I come from a traditional South Asian background, where dowry and financial support for weddings are still very much a cultural norm. When my husband and I got married a few years ago, both of our families felt a lot of pressure to provide a substantial dowry and cover a significant portion of the wedding expenses.


My in-laws ended up gifting us a sizable sum of money, as well as purchasing several expensive items like jewelry, home furnishings, and electronics for our new household. On my side, my parents liquidated a significant portion of their savings to fund our wedding festivities, which included multiple events spanning several days.


At the time, we were incredibly grateful for the financial support. Weddings in our community can cost an exorbitant amount, and we knew we couldn't have pulled off the celebration without these generous contributions from our families. It also helped us get a strong financial start, with a well-stocked home and some savings in the bank.


However, looking back, I can't help but feel conflicted about the whole experience. The pressure to extract as much dowry as possible, and the subsequent burden it placed on my parents, was deeply uncomfortable. I witnessed the stress and financial strain it caused them, and I know they had to make major sacrifices to meet those expectations.


There's also the troubling gender dynamic at play, where the bride's family is expected to "pay" for her to be taken off their hands. It reinforces the notion that women are a financial liability, rather than equal partners. And the whole tradition of dowry is, of course, illegal in many countries, yet it persists due to deeply entrenched cultural norms.

I come from a traditional South Asian background, where dowry and financial support for weddings are still very much a cultural norm. When my husband and I got married a few years ago, both of our families felt a lot of pressure to provide a substantial dowry and cover a significant portion of the wedding expenses.


My in-laws ended up gifting us a sizable sum of money, as well as purchasing several expensive items like jewelry, home furnishings, and electronics for our new household. On my side, my parents liquidated a significant portion of their savings to fund our wedding festivities, which included multiple events spanning several days.


At the time, we were incredibly grateful for the financial support. Weddings in our community can cost an exorbitant amount, and we knew we couldn't have pulled off the celebration without these generous contributions from our families. It also helped us get a strong financial start, with a well-stocked home and some savings in the bank.


However, looking back, I can't help but feel conflicted about the whole experience. The pressure to extract as much dowry as possible, and the subsequent burden it placed on my parents, was deeply uncomfortable. I witnessed the stress and financial strain it caused them, and I know they had to make major sacrifices to meet those expectations.


There's also the troubling gender dynamic at play, where the bride's family is expected to "pay" for her to be taken off their hands. It reinforces the notion that women are a financial liability, rather than equal partners. And the whole tradition of dowry is, of course, illegal in many countries, yet it persists due to deeply entrenched cultural norms.

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Female - age 23

Female - age 23

  • 7 Dec

  • 7 Dec

I'm not married...but, in my opinion.... If dowry is so important... I'll want to give it by my own expenses or money... I don't want any dowry burdens on my parents... In arrange marriage it might be difficult to discuss this topic with families... But at least in love marriage... I hope my partner will understand what I'm trying to say... And agree with me... If not, I'm okay being unmarried forever... And look after my parents...

I'm not married...but, in my opinion.... If dowry is so important... I'll want to give it by my own expenses or money... I don't want any dowry burdens on my parents... In arrange marriage it might be difficult to discuss this topic with families... But at least in love marriage... I hope my partner will understand what I'm trying to say... And agree with me... If not, I'm okay being unmarried forever... And look after my parents...

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Share your story - because, in the end, there will always be story or two to tell. About being broken. Rising. Falling. Growing. Disappearing. Waiting. Surviving. Changing. And other human fears.

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