Ah, the delicate dance of keeping up appearances—a kathak we’ve all attempted at some point, only to trip over our own feet. Let’s be honest, in India especially, the pressure to “arrive” financially is practically woven into the social fabric. The aunties want to know what you earn, your friends flaunt their Maldives trips on Instagram, and there’s this unspoken contest over who can make success look the easiest. It’s exhausting. And yet, here you are, daring to admit you got swept up in the madness. That’s your first victory.

Now, let’s try to untangle this mess.

India is a land where weddings rival Bollywood sets, and every new car is celebrated like the birth of a child. Wealth isn’t just about security; it’s a social signal, a badge of honor. But here’s the catch: Comparison is the thief of joy.

When you compare your behind-the-scenes struggles to someone else’s highlight reel, you’ll always come up short. Your friends’ luxury vacations? They don’t come with a disclaimer about their EMIs. Their designer outfits? Who knows if they skipped rent to buy them. Everyone is faking it to some extent, but the real winners are those who stop playing the game altogether.

Let’s not sugarcoat it: You built a house of cards, and the wind came through. But here’s the thing—those cards? They weren’t worthless. They taught you the cost of maintaining a facade: sleepless nights, mounting debt, and fractured trust. You’ve paid a high price, but now you’re free. Free to rebuild your life on solid ground.

Take a moment to appreciate the courage it took to come clean. Do you know how rare that is? Most people would have doubled down on the lies, sinking deeper into the quicksand. But you chose to face the fallout, and that makes you a badass in my book.

Here’s a sobering truth: The friends who dropped you for not being “rich enough” were never your friends to begin with. True friends don’t care if your wallet is light; they care if your heart is full.

That said, it’s okay to mourn the loss of those relationships. They represented a version of your life that you worked hard to create, even if it wasn’t entirely real. But remember this: You’re not losing friends; you’re shedding the weight of pretense.

The friends who stayed? Cherish them. They’re the ones who’ll share chai with you on your worst days and laugh over budget-friendly adventures. They’re your people.

Success isn’t about the size of your paycheck, the brand of your car, or the number of likes on your vacation post. It’s about how you feel when you’re alone with your thoughts. Are you at peace? Do you like who you’ve become?

Write down what truly matters to you—maybe it’s financial stability, meaningful relationships, or personal growth. Let those be your benchmarks, not someone else’s Instagram feed.

Start by aligning your lifestyle with your reality. Create a budget that’s honest about your means and stick to it. And if friends suggest an outing that’s beyond your budget, don’t be afraid to say, “Yaar, let’s do something simpler this time.” You’ll be surprised how often people appreciate the relief from keeping up appearances themselves.

That debt you accumulated trying to keep up? It’s time to tackle it head-on. Start small, pay off the highest-interest loans first, and celebrate each milestone. The road may be long, but every step forward is a victory.

Moving forward, commit to being unapologetically real. If someone asks about your finances, share as much as you’re comfortable, but don’t embellish. Authenticity is magnetic—it attracts the right kind of people into your life.

You’ve learned a lesson many people spend decades avoiding: Your worth isn’t tied to what you own or how much you earn. It’s in how you show up for yourself and others. By stepping away from the rat race, you’ve given yourself permission to live on your own terms. That’s priceless.

So, here’s my challenge to you: Celebrate your freedom. Throw a potluck with your real friends where the theme is simplicity. Swap expensive dinners for chai in a roadside stall or a picnic in the park. Build memories, not debt.

In the grand scheme of life, the people who matter won’t care about your salary slip; they’ll care about your soul. And from where I’m sitting, it looks like yours is richer than ever.

Keep growing, keep glowing.

Yours in hard truths and soft landings,

Maddy